In my middle school health class, they told me that
the human heart is roughly the size of a fist.
I don't remember what the teacher said
next, because I was too busy
curling my fingers into my palm.
Surely, whatever I was feeling
had to have been made by something larger than
my frail hands;
something more powerful
than my thirteen-year-old fist.
I closed my eyes
and punched the desk as hard as I could.
The skin on my knuckles tore open,
blood surfacing, shooting
pain up my arm,
and I walked with teary eyes
to the principal's office.
When he asked why I did it,
I could only say that I was testing my heart.
These days, I still ball my hand into a fist and just
stare at it for a bit.
I do this every day,
and sometimes I'll punch something,
like a desk, or a wall,
or a drawer that holds all the letters she wrote me.
My fist has gotten a little larger since then,
but it still breaks and bleeds just the same.
the human heart is roughly the size of a fist.
I don't remember what the teacher said
next, because I was too busy
curling my fingers into my palm.
Surely, whatever I was feeling
had to have been made by something larger than
my frail hands;
something more powerful
than my thirteen-year-old fist.
I closed my eyes
and punched the desk as hard as I could.
The skin on my knuckles tore open,
blood surfacing, shooting
pain up my arm,
and I walked with teary eyes
to the principal's office.
When he asked why I did it,
I could only say that I was testing my heart.
These days, I still ball my hand into a fist and just
stare at it for a bit.
I do this every day,
and sometimes I'll punch something,
like a desk, or a wall,
or a drawer that holds all the letters she wrote me.
My fist has gotten a little larger since then,
but it still breaks and bleeds just the same.
(TB)
there's nothing poetic about tearing apart your
skin
at 3 am
in desperation to feel something
there's nothing beautiful about wanting to
end your life
at the young age you are
depression is not beautiful
nor poetic
it's agonizing
and disturbing
how it creeps up on someone
and slowly consumes them
at 3 am
in desperation to feel something
there's nothing beautiful about wanting to
end your life
at the young age you are
depression is not beautiful
nor poetic
it's agonizing
and disturbing
how it creeps up on someone
and slowly consumes them
e.h.
There's a thin line,
between sad and sadness.
Where it goes from a blue feeling,
to an aching deep within your bones.
Where it takes over you.
Where it becomes darkness that
seems to consume you completely.
You're drowning in a sea of darkness,
not sure if you want to survive anymore;
not sure if that breath you're fighting for
is even worth it anymore.
I seem to have crossed that line,
long ago;
and I don't know how to go back
to the other side.
Honestly,
I don't know if I want to anymore.
between sad and sadness.
Where it goes from a blue feeling,
to an aching deep within your bones.
Where it takes over you.
Where it becomes darkness that
seems to consume you completely.
You're drowning in a sea of darkness,
not sure if you want to survive anymore;
not sure if that breath you're fighting for
is even worth it anymore.
I seem to have crossed that line,
long ago;
and I don't know how to go back
to the other side.
Honestly,
I don't know if I want to anymore.
Blood ridden tears
running down my wrists.
Lie after lie i can't resist.
A word left unspoken,
A whisper of care,
Alone just like always,
Because you can't be there.
A scream left unheard,
A plea for your help,
A blade forced in deeper,
A gun to my head.
If your there tell me now,
before it is too late.
Help me i plea,
Save me i cry,
And all you do is say goodbye.
My poem.
It's how i feel right this moment.
I cut, whoops.
I took pills, whoops.
Bye. Yay.
Lie after lie i can't resist.
A word left unspoken,
A whisper of care,
Alone just like always,
Because you can't be there.
A scream left unheard,
A plea for your help,
A blade forced in deeper,
A gun to my head.
If your there tell me now,
before it is too late.
Help me i plea,
Save me i cry,
And all you do is say goodbye.
My poem.
It's how i feel right this moment.
I cut, whoops.
I took pills, whoops.
Bye. Yay.
I want to
know you.
I want to know you better
than anyone else has
ever known you.
I want to know what you
do at two a.m.
What thoughts haunt
you in the dead of night.
I want to know every
scar that covers your
body. I want to know
your darkest secrets;
the memories you're
trying so hard to forget.
I want to know you—
the raw, unedited,
unfiltered, uncensored—
you.
I want to know the words
you would speak to me
at three a.m. when your
eyes are heavy and the
rest of the world is sleeping.
Tell me,
I won't interrupt.
I promise.
I want to know you better
than anyone else has
ever known you.
I want to know what you
do at two a.m.
What thoughts haunt
you in the dead of night.
I want to know every
scar that covers your
body. I want to know
your darkest secrets;
the memories you're
trying so hard to forget.
I want to know you—
the raw, unedited,
unfiltered, uncensored—
you.
I want to know the words
you would speak to me
at three a.m. when your
eyes are heavy and the
rest of the world is sleeping.
Tell me,
I won't interrupt.
I promise.
in five thousand years, the atoms that once made up my body are not going to remember that they were ever a person
and i know this
and i know that nothing really matters
and i know how insignificant my problems are when one day the earth is going to be sucked into the sun
and i know that i am made up out of dead stars
and that i will become dead stars again.
i know all of this,
but somehow
you can make my universe feel like it is collapsing in on itself
without even saying a word.
Sweet little girl
with those innocent eyes.
Your heart breaks with the world.
You cry when she cries.
Format:SecretlyBrokenAndSilentlyHoping
Find someone who traces
the lines in your hands just to
feel close to you, and
someone who believes
the ocean is trapped in your
eyes.
Find someone who loves
the bones in your body
and loves the
skin that you live in.
Find someone who will help
you love yourself.
(k.b.g)
the lines in your hands just to
feel close to you, and
someone who believes
the ocean is trapped in your
eyes.
Find someone who loves
the bones in your body
and loves the
skin that you live in.
Find someone who will help
you love yourself.
(k.b.g)
the world is full of kings and
queens
who blind your eyes
and then steal your dreams.
who blind your eyes
and then steal your dreams.
