Imnotfunny Quotes

add for mormons,
i believe god allows you to make u-turns
me: well of course you do, you made a pretty fast u-turn out of utah.

I wonder who the first ever person to begin singing in the shower was

They should be proud
 

Every slightly out of tune teenager like ever is following their trend

Witty: Write Something Witty
Me: Something Witty
Me: ha
Me: ha ha
Me: I'm clever

In general I try not to offend people like if you have a problem with some kind of joke and it's like a legit problem not like "OMG dnt mke fn of 1d!!!!!!! Thyr meh lyfe!!!!!!!!!!!!" I'll try not to make them around you but in all honesty I'm not going to change my sense of humor just because you don't like it. My sense of humor is usally either dark or sêxual so if you want to hang out with me you're going to have to get used to that. Like today I was sitting with my garden tools and I was making sêx jokes and being jokingly sëxual with them and this girl who I don't even know sits next to us and says I'm being immature and should grow up.
Like I didn't know her.
She didn't know me.
Unless she's stalking me.
What if she's part of the NSA
What if she's reading this now
Oh god I'm screwed

What's black, white, and red all over? 

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.
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Tina Cohen Chang's prom dress.

you can get the girl out of the Hunger Games, but you can't get the Hunger Games out of the girl.