ItzLexxie

Careful Kids,

I guess it's legal for your parents to murder you.

Apparently, 1 in 5 people in this world are chinese.

 And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be 1 of them.

It's not me, so it could be my dad, my mom,

my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Hao-Chang-Lee.

But it's probably my brother Colin.

Daddy always told me:
"If boys dont like you,

they are gay"  

Dear life,

when I said "can my day get any worse"

it was a rhetorical question not a challenge 

TEXTING

Daughter: I just got a 100% on my Chemistry test!

Dad: I'm so proud of you!  - _ -

Daughter: Why the awkward face?

Dad: It's not an awkward face.

It's a chinese smiley face because you're so smart!

Texting

Me: :)

Dad: Wipe that smile off your face

Me: :

Mom: Hey what does this mean? (.)(.)
Daughter: In what context?
Mom: "Im inlove with your (.)(.)"
Daughter: Umm EYES. it means dad loves your eyes
Mom: Aww thats cute!
Daughter: Yeah and be sure to tell him you love his 8==D smile. 

I changed all my passwords to "incorrect"

 so my computer just tells me when i forget.

Boy: Lets play the firetruck game
Girl: How do you play?
Boy: I run my fingers up your leg and you say redlight when you want me to stop
Girl: Ok :)
*Few seconds* REDLIGHT!
Boy: Firetrucks don't stop for redlights ;)  

Have you ever ...
wanted to ask a question
but you didnt
because you knew in your heart
that you wouldnt be able to
handle the answer?