tornedsoul*

I thought about you a hundred million times- about how sorry I was, how much you changed my life, all the good times and the bad times played like movies in my head. I thought about you so many times that the individual streams of thought flowed into a river that constantly ran through my mind; a babbling brook of guilt that sometimes spilled out of my eyes. Ive spent so many hours trying to force these feelings of mine out of me and into the space between us, but the sounds get so lost in translation. Every song is just a single moment of bursting feeling, threaded through my vocal chords and woven into an image that takes several minutes to be seen. None of the songs are right. Like a painting of a place- the image is never the same as the real thing.I had almost forgotten the feeling you gave me. The single greatest gift I'd ever received. So unexpected and unexplainable. Feeling like I had never known my own soul, but somehow you saw it right away and pulled it straight to my surface so I could see it too. So I could show it to everyone. You did it again- the moment you spoke to me, I felt it. Your attention is like fire. It melts the whole world away.I begged you not to disappear again, knowing full well you'd say no. But I am selfish, and I asked anyway. Just so you'd know how much I missed you. Miss isn't even a strong enough word for the way I feel about being away from you. You isn't a strong enough word for what I'm missing. It's like the feeling that somewhere in another world, I didn't make those mistakes, and our whole lives were different because I never pushed you away. There's so much I want to say to you that my mind is too small to even think of it all. Instead the river will keep running. But a river has life- it is home to fish and it feeds the grass and trees on the riverbank. I know this river of feelings for you will lead me to an ocean someday. Maybe there I'll find the forgiveness I need to give myself.

"I will forgive, but never forget, I'll love you from a far because that's as close as I'll get, I'll wait to see you in my dreams because I know thats the only time we'll spend, So many messages I have I just never send, I hope one day our hearts will mend, and the hurt will someday transcend, I let you go because love is free, I know the future isnt guarenteed, I don't need you, you don't need me, but our connection has definately given me a key, When I think of you I go to the sea, it gives me a sense of peace, and helps me connect the puzzle pieces, it took me too long to see, Some things are not meant to be"

I have so much of you in my heart.

I see you everywhere, in the stars, deep in the river, to me you’re everything that exists; the reality of everything.

The day after you stole my heart Everything I touched told me It would be better shared with you..

Heartbreaks are painful. They are bad, yet they are an integral part of our life experiences. Love will never be able to teach you as many lessons as a single heartbreak can! So go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. Look at the positives, the good it brings. Being single, even for a while can be refreshing. Welcome it with open arm, and when the time is just about right, you will bump into the person of your dreams. Just like that!

Heartbreaks are painful. They are bad, yet they are an integral part of our life experiences. Love will never be able to teach you as many lessons as a single heartbreak can! So go with the flow, and enjoy the ride. Look at the positives, the good it brings. Being single, even for a while can be refreshing. Welcome it with open arm, and when the time is just about right, you will bump into the person of your dreams. Just like that!

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.”

“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”

“When we meet someone and fall in love, we have a sense that the whole universe is on our side. And yet if something goes wrong, there is nothing left! How is it possible for the beauty that was there only minutes before to vanish so quickly? Life moves very fast. It rushes from heaven to hell in a matter of seconds.”