thestoryofagirl1995

Status:
Joined: April 10, 2012
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 291039
Im 17 years old, i love my friends and family so very much. im a very outgoing person and i tend to get laughed at by people who think they are better then me. i appear to be a very open book, but thats only because a smile can hide a million tears and lies. so from now on this witty will be my safe place where i shall share my deepest thoughts and fears. mainly because i have been told that keeping everything in is "a very bad thing", i guess thats it i hope you like and can relate to my quotes.
-xo thestoryofagirl1995
 

Quotes by thestoryofagirl1995

i came to the conclusion that im done with relationships ive been chasing them for so long and ive only gotten hurt, so i finally said im DONE im young im just gonna have fun. you said youre the same way but yet i still feel myself slowly falling for you and i dont know what to do?
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love
my life is far from normal, it has its ups and downs but doesnt everyone? i have finally been able to admit that i need help and i finally am getting it. each day is still a struggle but for the most part ive been okay...however the past few days i have felt myself slipping back into the darkness i was in before, i dont know why, im still trying to figure so much out in my life and its never easy, and sometimes ill sit down and wonder if its all worth it or if im destined to always just be this depressed person who needs to act like someone im not, or can i finally be truely happy?
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last night i let so much out. i said things that i never even said to myself outloud, but yet i found myself sitting on my porch with my mom pouring my heart out more then i ever had to anyone in my life. i just sat there and let myself cry i didnt even try to hide out because for once in my life i just didnt care who saw me breakdown and have my walls down, for the first time i really let someone in and it scared me a little bit. i feel closer to my mother more than i ever had and i couldnt be happier.

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BROKEN GIRL
As I lay here in the darkness a tear creeps down my already mascara staind cheeks. Barely breathing, slowly dying nothing left to me but a hallow body of a broken girl. As i move through the halls like a zombie of the undead, my smile hides my darkest nights. Noone but myself can tell anythings wrong. I let noone in because my dark side will send them running. I dont need the pitty looks; I stand strong for everyone but on the inside im already broken. Nothing can save me now Im already too far gone for a life line. Let me drift away in the unknown sea its where I belong. Theres no point in harming myself because Im already dead.
aaaaAaa     

all mine
 

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poems
i have finally realized my best....

will never be good enough!

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as i lay awake in bed thinking about how we went from the picture perfect happy family to what we are now i cant help but cry. it hurts so much because i so badly want to be one family again. i remember sleeping over friends houses and not having family dinners and wishing i was home and now we barely have a family dinner. as the famous mitch albom once said every ending is a new begininng what if i dont want a new one what if i want to start over again with the same one we used to have?
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i thrive to be over this and act like it doesn't bother me. i sit there and listen to you talk throwing in a few "yeahs" and "mhms" while in my head i wish things didn't have to be like this. i know your trying your hardest and you only want whats best for us but at the same time i feel like your putting yourself before anyone else. you ask how i feel about you dating again and i don't know because in complete honesty i blame you for destroying our family.part of me knows that you only did what you thought was best but at the same time i cant help but put you at blame for all the heartache. i hide so much because i don't want to hurt you with the things i feel.i keep all these things inside because i feel as if letting them out is destroying what little relationship we have. i'm so scared that if you do start dating again i will despise you, i don't know how i feel because i'm torn, i want you to be happy but at the same time picturing you with another man makes my skin crawl. i'm sorry i cant be easy going about this, but im so messed up inside.
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I cant lie,

i hate the way i look, i hate my body everything. i feel like I'm ugly fat and will never be good enough for anyone and every time someone points out a flaw i already clearly know i have its like a punch in the face. I`ve barely been eating and i lost 4 pounds but i so badly want to lose more so much more. i wish i could change everything about me that i hate but i cant. i know i always say embrace your imperfections but its so hard when you hate them so much. 

just venting

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im going to freak out today, my best friend and i have been fighting all day and yesterday, why? because he feels the need to insert himself into my familys money problems, telling me that they screwed me over in life and basically that im going nowhere. i hate fighting with him but every time we get in a fight im always the first to say something to him to fix things and i dont know if i should wait for him to say something or not but if  i say something first im giving him all the power and hes not gonna learn. i really dont know what to do...any advice?
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Have you ever liked someone so much that when you see them your heart goes a mile a minute? Or what about when they hug you and you get butterflies and walk away blushing with the biggest smile youve ever had? What about when you find out they like someone else and you wonder why God would make you feel this way just to get hurt? Maybe its because even though he likes someone else, you should show him everything you have everything that makes you well you, and hopefully he will feel the same way you do, but how do you know that everything will work out? How do you know that youre not gonna get hurt. i guess that is a chance you have to take no matter how much it scares you.

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love