deerlungs

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Hold my heart
 it's beating
for you
  anyways
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And her heart shattered like the waves
that crashed against the shore.
Her fake smile cracked
like plaster.
Her pretty little world,
painted bright and colorful
drained of all it's color.
And that was the day,
the happiest girl in the world
became the black and gray girl.

 i had a lover whose heart went like
a clock that always went fast and
 he was fearless. he had me wrapped
around his finger like a pretty
 little ring, some ring that lost
its shine, but he coveted all the same.
 some days i loved him like the thornes on a rose, some days i loved
 him like the vastness of
the ocean, and sometimes i loved him
 like a starving man, but i alwayu
bound myself to his ankles,
 an unfalthering shadow. i loved him
like a bad habit, and i held
 the tast of him in my body like
                       a curse.

you made a

sometimes, writing everything out makes it easier to take in but, that doesn't make it hurt any less.

i heard your voice today, but we last spoke in may.

why do we wait for catastrophes and hard to mention tragedies, why do we wait for unimaginable atrocities and unfixable maladies to do the things we wish we'd done, or say the things that lived so long on the tips of our tongues that they planted roots and our taste buds are blooming?

why do we wait for the afterthought, the glance back from too far forward, the point of no return to wish we could? why do we wait and what the hell are we waiting for? death? sickness? the beds that adjust their backs so we can see the hospital television just a bit better? for the veins to rise in our arms and the backs of our hands in ways only old age can deliver? are we waiting for an accident, for an excuse, for a giant push from a giant force? what are we waiting for?

moments drip past us like grains of sand when we sit on the beach, aimlessly dipping our hand into them because why not, we have an entire shoreline to play with. until we do not. until we look down and see that the ocean has swept all the sand away and all we're left with is the handful we grabbed before it did. what value each grain of sand has then; what perfect value. how safe we'd hold them. all i know to say my love, is the sea has come and we hold the shore in our hands. what are we waiting for? -- tyler knott gregson.

in hope is strength. embrace it, and find me. -- tyler knott gregson

i like when he looks at me with those eyes.

read.
write.
sleep.
dream.
live.
love.