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Depression?
It's so much
more than being 'sad' or hating
your appearance. It's the constant
suicide thoughts.. yeah, you're sad and
you hate what you look like, but all you
want to do is die, you don't have much
of a social life, you isolate yourself from
everyone. You think too much of all the
things wrong with you, what you do, with
your life, what you've done wrong.
Anxiety adds on, not being able to breathe,
the tears, the shaking, the worrying about
everything. Seeing everyone around you, and
thinking they're judging you. When they
laugh, you automatically think it's
about you. You feel so worthless, stupid,
annoying, useless, that everyone would be
better off without you and that no one
really cares about you. The constant urges
to jump in-front of cars, to cut again and
again. The scars that look at and make you
feel weak. You feel like you have no one
and your life is a living hell. Depression
is a rope around your neck and the longer
you try to fight for your life, just makes
the rope tighter. It's like a tornado,
and once the big storms pass, you're
left with the scars, the bruises, the
thoughts, the sadness and the memories. The
fake smiles, telling everyone you're
just tired, when you're really dying on
the inside. You're screaming for
someone to realize and help you. Thinking
no one would or could ever love you, that
you're just not good enough for anyone
or anything. I mean, who would love a
depressed suicidal, clingy, annoying,
useless, ugly girl after
all?
Don't ever
wish for depression, you don't want it..
Believe me. I know too well how it all
feels.. and it makes your life a misery, a
literal, living hell.