L3X1111

You know that feeling?

 That bad one you get sometimes?

 That one where all u can feel is self loathing and those salty tears trickling down your face?

 Yeah, that one.

 Well that’s how I feel right now. And its something I'm so used to, and yet its just so new. By now I would normally have my knife in my hands. Drawing pretty pictures with blood on my wrist, but I'm not.

In fact, its actually my eyes making a picture that only a mirror will show me. It’s a pretty picture too, little swirls of black sucked up into my tears and trailing down to my chin.

 Its so new and a little comforting. I would use my wrist as a canvas, but it makes her upset when I do.

 So I'm not using a knife or staples or a razor or blades or scissors or my own nails or a lighter or pins.

 I'm letting my eyes make a picture and leaving my wrist to heal. 

Everything feels like it's slipping from my grip…
like I'm fading into the shadows…
the numbness is coming back and there's nothing I can do to stop it but keep that fake smile on my face..
The one I know so well.
But everyone around me is happy so I refuse to drag them down into my overdramatic, pitiful life.
I WISH THEY WOULD ALL JUST DISAPPEAR FROM MY MEMORY. THEY SCARRED ME. I WANT TO BE HAPPY, BUT WHEN I GET CLOSE TO IT… their faces and words all come back… they remind me that I don't deserve happiness… that I don’t deserve love.
They are out of my life, but their words wont go away.
I think I need some help, but right now
music and my little knife are all I need.

In a world that's untamed
why's America to blame
when you're praying for a change to
a god with no face?

 

Deuce- America

those amazing guy friends
who listen to me about ex's
and give me advice because they care <3

you were born an original

don't die a copy 

if facebook were real life,
i would still write on walls,
i would still poke strangers,
and i would still friend people im not posostive i know, because everone needs friends:)
i would still chat you and have group chats with all my friends. 
my best friend would still be my sister:)

• click to see this quote •

• click to see this quote •

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT 
when you tell someone you like them and their girlfriend shows up out of nowhere

i dont like you:/