ConfessionsOfASuicidalTeenager
Joined: February 22, 2012
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Hello (: I decided to make an account to give back to witty. Everyone has helped me so much with my problems. So If you EVER need someone to talk to I am here. I promise, No judgement. I just want you to remember one thing, Please, for me? Can you please remember you are beautiful? I mean it I really do. Even though I am such a hypocrite. I need you to feel beautiful for me.
I have been a cutter,A drinker, And a smoker. I have been raped, And have an alcoholic dad. My parents are close to a divorce, and I am inlove with a guy who doesn't care about me. Ever since I was little I was the "Sad girl" and I get bullied. I am suicidal, and I hate myself more than you can ever imagine.
I want every girl who reads this to try and feel beautiful for me. Because I never will feel that.
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And girly, it's horrible that bad things in life happen. I'm so sorry that you were , you have an alcoholic dad, your parents are close to a divorce (I've seen that twice in my fam, so I can relate to that), and I've been bullied before so badly that I had to leave my school and go to a new one. Life sucks sometimes, I know. But please don't take your life....I don't even know you that well but I really want to and it would suck for any life to be taken into their own hands. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Maybe you don't see it. So what? Your beautiful friends will, and one day you'll meet your soulmate that will treat you the right way and your soulmate will always see the beauty in you, even when you're at your worst. Life definitely sucks, I'll admit it. I can imagine what it's like for you but I will never understand the pain you're going through, I know that. But I can't even picture you physically right now but I already know you are beautiful. You can look at this and dismiss it and be like "Pfft just another person who's trying to make the world a better place by telling suicidal girls that they're beautiful..." Yeah, I am one of those people. But I honestly mean it. You will always have beauty, even if you don't see it, others will. Suicide will not only affect you but everyone in your life, because you are you. I promise things will get better. Just hang on. Instead of cutting, take your anger out with calm meditation or something. It sounds really lame but I tried it once and it really worked. You can also vent to me. I won't ever judge you and I'll always be here for you...please come to me if you want me. Please? Ok? Promise? Love you, gorgeous.
when pain exceeds
resources for coping with pain.
Thats all its about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesnt even mean that you really want to die - it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights... no matter how much you want to remain standing. Willpower has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer yourself up, if you could.
You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.
Now I want to tell you five things to think about.
1 You need to hear that people do get through this -- even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.
2 Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, I will wait 24 hours before I do anything. Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things - just because you feel like killing yourself, doesnt mean that you have to it is up to you.
3 People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.
4 Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.
But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone whats going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try:
Send an anonymous e-mail to The Samaritans
Call 1-800-SUICIDE in the U.S.
Teenagers, call Covenant House NineLine, 1-800-999-9999
Look in the front of your phone book for a crisis line
Call a psychotherapist
Carefully choose a friend or a minister or rabbi, someone who is likely to listen
But dont give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of the pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.
5 Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet, us witty girls can talk to you bu that only goes so far.
I LOVE YOU