you know a big part of me
still believes that you could fix everything? my dreams and thoughts are always filled with
you.
when holidays are coming up, i'm wishing i could spend it
with you.
when bad things happen, i always think about
how different things could be with you
around. i always feel like i'm
just killing time until i can meet you.
It's scary to see how much has changed and also
nothing has changed.
if you told me this year I'd lose my comfort job
if you told me this year I'd lose my best
friend
if you told me this year I'd lose myself
I wouldn't believe you. I don't know where to go from here.
It's at this point that
I'm starting to understand what people mean when they say a
tattoo lasts forever. When I look at my body and see
only what used to be but is no longer
there. When I am constantly reminded
of some of my hardest moments.
At the time I thought they would be reminders of what I overcame-
but today they feel like reminders of pain.
They feel like I'm telling the world of a moment I feel stuck
in, they feel like a scream for help that was ignored. They feel
like a part of my life that I can't stop carrying.