dancelover01

A year ago, I realized I had a crush on my best friend.
Two months ago, I came out to her as bisexual.
Two and a half months ago, I kissed her.
Nearly a month ago, she officially became my girlfriend.

Thank you so much for being there for me.  
You've helped me get through so much, from panic attacks to being scared of being home.  
I love holding your hand in mine.  
I love the noises you make when I kiss up your neck.
I love how you make me feel safe.
I love that we're not scared of what (most) people think anymore.
We still haven't told our parents.  We're still scared of them.  
But I will always be there for you.  
They're never going to take you away from me.
I will always love you.

I Believe...

Music has power over our lives, our decisions, our emotions.  This I believe.  We’re obsessed with music.  Our world is almost never silent, and the music playing in the background of our lives ties in strongly to our memories.  

Picture this.  You’re in your room, listening to the radio.  An old favorite comes on, and your head floods with memories.  Suddenly, you’re thinking of old friends from summer camp, or that one time when everything was good.  Music can take you back to past lives you’ve lived, whether for better or for worse.  You can be reminded of family or heartbreak, happiness or sorrow.  Music can give you the power to remember, or to forget.

About a year ago, I had a great friend, who I’ll call A.  I don’t know the exact circumstances, but I know A’s dad died in the army a few years ago.  One night, at church, we were talking about heartbreak and loss.  A is very strong and always tries to see the best in life, but it was too much to handle, and she started crying.  I was riding home with her, trying to help her feel better, but not really doing anything.  Then, “Shut Up and Dance” came on the radio.  Almost immediately, she perks up, and starts laughing and singing along.  I watched her turn back into the amazingly strong girl she usually is simply from hearing music.  Since then, remembering this reminds me of the influence music has in our lives.
 
I’m the girl that’s always humming a song under their breath, and sings obnoxiously loud at home.  I turn to music to fill up the empty spaces in my day.  I love the way music can fill a room and make everything feel better.  I’ve done piano lessons for no less than eight years in an attempt to become one of those people that I admired who could make the world come to life.  I take every opportunity I can when it comes to music because it makes me feel amazing when I play.  I do two band classes a day just so I can be a part of the music.  I don’t do all that I do just for applause or recognition.  In fact, I still get stage fright sometimes, but I keep playing even when I’m scared because I know how much of an impact my music can have on other people’s lives.  I’ve learned to play gentle music that can make an audience tear up (in a good way) and music that makes everyone want to get up and dance and clap along.  I can play music that will give you peace in the middle of your busy day, or music that will give you energy to make it through whatever life throws your way.  Being musician gives me incredible power over others’ emotions. 

Throughout the last few years, I’ve learned a lot about how everyone has their own stories that are all connected through the power of music.  I’ve learned a lot about the world around me through the music I hear.  I make an effort to hear the background music in our lives because I believe in the power of music.

~all mine

You hate when people see you cry because you want to be seen as strong. 
At the same time, though, you hate how nobody notices how torn apart and broken you are.

A strong person is not the one who doesn’t cry.  

A strong person is the one who cries for a moment, 

then gets up and fights again.

You just do it.
You force yourself to get up.
You force yourself to put one foot before the other,
and God damn it, you refuse to let it get to you.
You fight. You cry.
You curse. Then you go about the business of living.
That’s how I’ve done it.
There’s no other way.
~Elizabeth Taylor

He told me he liked me.  A lot.
We went to different schools, but didn't care that we didn't get to see each other often.
We texted all the time.
Then he said that it would never work.  And stopped talking to me for weeks.
Last night, after not saying a word to me for five weeks, he said he was sorry.
He wanted to text me, but said he couldn't out of fear that he wouldn't lose feelings.
He acknowlodged that it was a terrible reason, but he was sorry.
Honestly, I didn't want to forgive him.  He had been the first boy to tell me he liked me, and then he broke my heart.
So, I forgave him.  Those three little words seem like nothing, but they were so hard to type.
I got to walk away knowing I truely forgave him with all of my heart.
And now I am free.

ALL IT TAKES IS
A BEAUTIFUL, FAKE SMILE
TO HIDE AN INJURED SOUL
AND THEY WILL NEVER NOTICE
HOW BROKEN YOU REALLY ARE.
~Robin Williams

So...
Today a kid at school noticed my Hogwarts shirt...
He said, "Why do you wear that?  It's not real."
(note: this is the second time this week he's made a comment about me liking Harry Potter)
I replied, "Of course it's in your head, but why on Earth should that mean it isn't real?"
Him: "What??"

Behind every beautiful girl,
there's a man who did her wrong, and made her strong.