it ends up going beyond just
'lack of confidence' and instead becomes this tidal wave of
insecurites and paranoias and self-loathing and it's not
something i would wish on anyone because you can be having a
brilliant day and then just one little thing ticks it off and this
chain reaction happens and next thing you know you're locked in
your room refusing to talk to anyone and scared to message a friend
because if they wanted to talk to you they would and you're
scared to push them away by seeming clingy and annoying and then
you start the self-hatred and oh it just builds up and you think
"i'm too this, i'm too that" and they add to the
insecurites and make you feel really low. someone'll put a
beautiful selfie up on facebook and despite the fact it's
completely edited you'll think "ha, i wish i was confident
enough to do that, pretty enough, blah blah blah" and so the
self-loathing and the paranoia and the insecurities and the feeling
of being alone just eat at you and you end up with less confidence
and self-esteem as you had before. it's a disgusting circle and
i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
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