Funny Quote #6502652
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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest..

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.. He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

I wonder how many people will get this lol

1 Comment

counterparts 1 decade ago

intended...
I see what you did there. :)

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ans2125

posted December 15, 2012 at 9:29pm UTC tagged with funny

more quotes by ans2125

How many men does it take to change a toilet roll? We dont know, it never happens
I know this is kinda long but its worth reading So a blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, " I ask a question, and if you dont know the answer, you pay me $5, and vice versa." Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you dont know the answer, you pay me $5, but if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500." This catches the blondes attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. " What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" the blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a 5 dollar bill and hands it to the lawyer. "okay" says the lawyer, "Your turn" she asks the lawyer, "what goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends an e-mail to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500. The blonde says, "Thank you" and turns back to get some more sleep. The Lawyer who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, " well, whats the answer?" Without a work, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb. Not mine, just thought it was funny

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We met in kindergarten. We were best friends. She always told me she loved my eyes. I didn't quite know why. I was in love with her, so of course my face lit up immensely whenever she said it. She was beautiful, kind, and extremely funny. We'd be talking about nothing, and she'd turn to me and whisper, "I like your eyes." One day, I was playing basketball, waiting for her to drive over to my house to have a game with me. Suddenly, I got a phone call. It was her mom. She was in a panic. I couldn't quite understand what she was saying. It sounded like, "Aaron, come quick! Kelsey, accident, Main Street! Blood. Come now!" I had no clue what happened, so I ran to Main Street with my basketball shorts and a tee shirt on. I saw Kelsey's mom helplessly crying, waiting for the ambulance to arrive. I saw a totaled car, blood everywhere. Then I saw her, Kelsey. My heart stopped as I frantically ran over to her. "Kelsey? Kelsey!" She was unconscious. I started crying. I know it isn't very manly, but I couldn't help it. Before I could say anymore, the medics took her away, the main source of blood coming from her head. I went to the hospital that night, I went every night. in fact, the only time I left was to go out to eat, but that's it. The doctors tried getting me to leave, but I refused. It was all my fault. If it wasn't for me, wanting to play basketball with her, she wouldn't be going through this. It was already four days, and she hasn't woken up. On the fifth day, I saw her eyes gently open. "Kelsey?" I called. She wasn't quite awake yet. Suddenly, doctors came rushing in, telling me I had to wait outside. I did, for a few hours. One of the doctors finally came out saying, "I understand that you're Kelsey's friend, Aaron?" "Yes," I whispered. He bit his lip. "She woke up, she's fine, but I'm afraid she has long term memory loss." "Are you serious?" I almost shouted. "I'm afraid so." I didn't meet his gaze. I couldn't. I wasn't going to say anything, so he spoke again. "You can go see her if you want, but she doesn't remember anything, not even her mom." I walked in, trembling in horror. I saw her. She looked helpless as she slept. I waited a few hours, until I saw her eyes opening gently again. I expected doctors to run in, rushing me out. Instead, she looked me straight in the eyes, and whispered, "I don't know you, but I like your eyes."
I want a person who comes into my life by accident, & stays on purpose.
When guys get jealous it's kinda cute (': When girls get jealous World war III is about to start.
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