Status Quote #7081197
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i've been in survival mode these past few weeks. i need to

i've been in survival mode these past few weeks.
i need to start living again.
i need to eat healthily.
i need to get enough sleep.
i shouldn't be feeling so exhausted all the time.
i'm still young.

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Dudu*

posted January 29, 2024 at 11:54am UTC tagged with status, story, quote

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i want someone who i'm sure of. i want him to be certain too. i believe true love should be effortless.
i almost don't want to write this but i remind myself this isn't for you. this is for my own release. time and time again i gave second chances. a part of me has completely turned away from you now. you won't get anything more than surface level from me anymore. i hadn't seen this side of you for a while so i forgot how awful you could be. no compassion or empathy. just relentless nagging and no care to my feelings at all. you didn't care to think that i had been overworked. you didn't care to think that i was holding back so i didn't burst into tears there and then. you never say sorry cause you never think you're wrong. but you were wrong. the way you acted wasn't okay. everyone else felt the tense air and told me it wasn't right. i hate when you act like that and expect me to treat you like normal after. that's not fair. it's not fair for you to have unrealistic expectations and drain me, scold me, bother me for not reaching them. i'm so over that attitude that you show when you feel like enough hasn't been done. i'm mostly hurt that i was working so many days, and each day still worked overtime to get things done. meanwhile you were off and didn't think at all about the hell i'd gone through when i was alone. you didn't think of the fact that i was physically and mentally drained. you were just focussing on what else needed to be done. just nitpicking and repeating the same points over and over. no response i gave satisfied you. i knew you just wanted me to agree, that i was in the wrong, that you weren't asking for much. no. you were expecting to come back to everything being perfect. you were expecting a 4 man job out of 3 people. you knew the only way that would happen was if i were to bend myself backwards even more, stay back at work even more and bleed myself dry even more. i deserve an apology. not that look on your face.

i've been in survival mode these past few weeks. i need to

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Dudu*

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