You want me to be a tragic backdrop so that you can appear to
be illuminated, so that people can say ‘Wow, isn’t
he so terribly brave to love a girl who is so obviously
sad?’ You think I’ll be the dark sky so you can be
the star? I’ll swallow you whole.
I ask did you ever love me?
you say of course, of course so quickly
that you sound like someone else
I ask are you made of steel? Are you made of iron?
You cry on the phone, my stomach hurts
I let you leave, I need someone who knows how to stay
I made my live sad yesterday. I told him that I have been
falling back to bad habits. I've been falling back to not eating
to not wanting food. I know it hurts him and I don't like it. I
just wish I could fix it.
you can’t
make homes out of human beings someone should have already told
you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love.